#33

Posted in Uncategorized on October 17, 2010 by yellowcar2

Driving a cab in a college town often reminds me of a lyric from a Van Halen song.

Blue eyed murder in a size 5 dress

The scenery in this job is definitely a perk, but can definitely make you feel like a dirty old man sometimes. I am so happy I am married doing this job, if I was single, I might get myself in trouble. Believe me when I say there is no piece of ass on the planet worth the divorce.

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#32

Posted in Uncategorized on October 13, 2010 by yellowcar2

Posted a comment on another blog written by David Lowery of Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven. While I am not that familiar with CVB, Cracker is my favorite band and it gets played often in the car. Check out this post and my comment to how in the fuck it relates to this blog.

http://300songs.com/2010/10/11/64-the-world-is-mine-cracker-gillette-been-very-very-good-to-cracker-suerte-loca/

Oh and David, I swear I’m not a Superfan.

#31

Posted in Uncategorized on October 13, 2010 by yellowcar2

My two favorite ways to end the night of driving drunks around town.

1. Last call of the night is a personal customer who pays me cash and then invites me in to hang out in his “Foreman’s Basement” set up in the garage. He loads the bong, I smoke the bong, we shoot the shit and then I go home and take advantage of my wife and all is well in the world.

2. When the wife can’t stay up. Come home, load bong, find movie to watch, fuck around on FB for way too long. Once bong load is done (usually an 90 to 120 minutes) it is time for bed.

Oh and tonight was The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

#30

Posted in Uncategorized on October 9, 2010 by yellowcar2

Got in a wreck last night. No one was hurt but the car is down for a few days.

#29

Posted in Uncategorized on October 2, 2010 by yellowcar2

Remember I double as the Night Manager.

Last night I got a dispatch call to go to a junior high on the edge of town that had no call back number. While I was driving to what was probably going to a burn or none was going to be there and I would have driven across town for nothing. Something that kind of pisses us off. My little brother who is my subordinate beeps me on my radio to let me know he passed a call to the junior high on the edge of town because there was no call back number.

So now I know who to blame when I get burned. I’m on my way to that call. I’m doing my job.

I actually did pick someone up. When we got where we were going she bolted on a $9 fare. When I told this to my little brother I added a very heart felt thank you for passing that call. Yes, I put extra effort into making it sound as genuine and sincere as I could.

A couple hours later he’s pulling up along side of me telling me he has ten bucks for me. I never asked for the money, I never expected the money. I kissed the money goodbye when that little chick got of the car. How the satisfaction of teaching him the lesson that we do not pick and choose our calls by hitting the guilt button was priceless. So in some sick Jewish mother way I kind of enjoyed the whole thing.

#28

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30, 2010 by yellowcar2

Small town business owners are the worst. I used to make tens of millions of dollars a month for a fortune 100 company (had to give it up, realized I might actually need my soul some day.) There is not one I have met yet that I would walk into a boardroom with. They would get eaten alive by those people. I call it the medium fish in the big puddle that thinks they are a shark in the ocean syndrome. When people in small towns rise of above mediocrity by even a hair, they become unfuckingdeservedly arrogant and incredibly willfully ignorant.

#27

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30, 2010 by yellowcar2

The most painful words in my life are (Insert owners name here) said. Those two words are 99.999999999% of the time followed by words that will inflict pain and misery upon my existence.